now a mommy.

I'm going to not be so angsty this time around and write to you about something special that has happened in my life. The reoccurring theme around here seems to always be connected to Las Vegas, and seeing as how the city of Las Vegas has become synonymous with the word change, I'm going to fill you in on a big change that took place on April 3rd, 2012 (yes, I'm late - I know this):

Take heed - she will cut you.

This is Nellis Mae. She is now a 6 month old Chihuahua-Yorkshire Terrior mix with a huge weigh-in of about six pounds, a plethora of sloppy puppy dog kisses to give and a personality enough for a Great Dane ... maybe ten Great Danes. Regardless of the amount of dog she is, Nellis has become the daughter of my roomie and bestie Denise and myself. She was a free pup, given to us graciously by Denise's friend.

"Really humans ... this is it?" On her first night at our place.

There was a bit of nervousness about actually making the decision to take Nellis; between Denise's schedule and mine, we are both extremely busy. Then there was the issue of finances and parental responsibility. Was I actually ready to become a mother? No, she would not be born of my womb (haha) but we were going to be bringing another life into our world ... would we be ready to handle that? But more importantly, would I succeed as a pet owner?


Horrible flashbacks of my failures with my pet hamster from my past flooded into my brain as we made our way to Nellis Blvd. in North Las Vegas. I had only seen this puppy in a picture on Facebook; in that form, she was fine, cute to look at without the strings of being attached ... but I walked into a backyard where I could hear barking - oh no! This is a tangible, real little creature. I was absolutely nervous ...

Despite our lack of shared DNA, this animal got a lot of my traits, i.e., laziness. 

Until I saw her. Everything - my worries, my failures, the face of the hamster we had to get rid of, and the fact that I was probably walking into a very irrational contract all dissipated at the sight of her precious black face. We drove Nellis Mae home that night. She laid across Denise's chest, both scared and curious. We formulated the name almost instantly; Nellis, from where we picked her up. It was simple yet original, and unlike anything cliche when naming an animal. Despite the "animal" that she is, Nellis has become a vital addition to our home. We love her dearly (the vast amount of pictures of her on my phone and Facebook and Twitter account can all tell you that), but beyond that, Nellis has put me through some learning experiences about life and myself.


I never thought I could love something so much at first sight. And that's what it was, love at first sight.


I never thought something could love me so unconditionally.


I never thought I'd be the one to spoil anything (which is really biting me in the butt right now).


And maybe, someday, I will be a good enough parent to an actual litter of children.

My only fear is that my children will never be this adorable.

Making the decision to become pet owners and mothers to a very special furry baby was one of the best decisions I've ever been a part of. It has also been a great change in my life because suddenly I am responsible for feeding, housing and spending time with someone else. She is our baby, and our responsibilities have changed because of her, and despite my fear of being selfish, I don't mind sacrificing for her. This road hasn't been easy, and I know it will continue to have its challenges, but Nellis brings so much joy into our home with her crazy antics, her puppy dog eyes and the fact that underneath her worms-in-the-head, queen-of-the-world run of the household, she is just a puppy who loves us and who we love even when she barks all night long. And trust me, she does.


I absolutely, unconditionally love this dog.

Rae & Nellis Mae <3

Even in my most childish of moments, being a grown up is becoming more and more evident for me. This little puppy reminds me of that everyday; everyday we make choices that impact our futures. We choose where we want to go and how we will make a life for ourselves, as well as how we set the tone for that life with our attitudes. She brings me patience and frustrations, joy and disappointment; but most importantly, Nellis reminds me to love - to love with all of my heart because love conquers everything negative in our lives, and it is with love that we can live happily and fulfilled in a satisfaction that cannot be robbed by anything.

Staying in love,

Rae.